relationships Archives - News@91��ɫ

Priming for planned sex increases desire, frequency in parents with young children, 91��ɫ study finds

egamulin — Mon, 01 Dec 2025 15:00:21 +0000

TORONTO, Dec. 1 2025 — Between the lack of sleep and free time, physical, hormonal and relationship changes, and juggling work and other life commitments, many couples find their sex lives take a hit in the transition to parenthood. Continuing through the early years of child rearing, this can have a negative impact on the overall relationship. While spontaneous sex is put on a pedestal in Western society, led by researchers at 91��ɫ’s Faculty of Health found that encouraging couples with young children to plan sex led to increased desire and frequency.

91��ɫ PhD Candidate and registered psychotherapist Katarina Kovacevic

“F��ǳ� previous research we know that most people idealize spontaneous sex, but that doesn’t necessarily correlate with actual sexual satisfaction,” says lead author and 91��ɫ PhD Candidate Katarina Kovacevic, a registered psychotherapist whose clinical and research focus is on romantic relationships and sexual issues. “For this study, we wanted to see if we could shift people's beliefs about planning sex so they could see the benefits, which they did.”

For the paper, “Can Shifting Beliefs About Planned Sex Lead to Engaging in More Frequent Sex and Higher Desire and Satisfaction? An Experimental Study of Parents with Young Children,” published in The Journal of Sex Research, Kovacevic worked closely with 91��ɫ Psychology Professor , also director of the at 91��ɫ.

The researchers recruited more than 500 participating individuals from Canada, the U.S., U.K., Australia and New Zealand, whose youngest child was five years old or younger. The study was open to all gender and sexual orientations.

Psychology Professor Amy Muise

All participants were surveyed on their pre-existing notions of planned versus spontaneous sex and were then divided into two groups. One was given a research summary highlighting the importance of planned sex and were encouraged to plan sex with their partner in the next two weeks. The other group was given literature saying that researchers were not sure whether planned or spontaneous sex was more satisfying and were instructed to have sex as they normally would with their partner.

“At the two-week followup, people in the experimental group reported having more planned sex than the control group and more sex overall,” says Muise. “The difference between groups meant that planning sex could translate into at least one more sexual experience a month for a couple, which can be meaningful.”

Planning also had other benefits. The researchers found, for participants who had reported at least one sexual encounter in the two-week period, that the planners felt less obligated to have sex compared to the control group.

“In the manipulation, we emphasized that planning sex needs to be a conversation with your partner, we emphasized consent, so that could perhaps explain that finding,” says Kovacevic.

The researchers say that while parents with younger children are at an especially vulnerable stage in their sex lives and relationship overall, they believe planning could be beneficial to many couples.

“This could apply fairly broadly — for example to people who are busy in general, to people who have health and mobility issues who have times when they feel better and worse,” says Kovacevic. “Planned sex could be a tool for anyone looking to connect more with their partner.”

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91��ɫ is a modern, multi-campus, urban university located in Toronto, Ontario. Backed by a diverse group of students, faculty, staff, alumni and partners, we bring a uniquely global perspective to help solve societal challenges, drive positive change, and prepare our students for success. 91��ɫ's fully bilingual Glendon Campus is home to Southern Ontario's Centre of Excellence for French Language and Bilingual Postsecondary Education. 91��ɫ’s campuses in Costa Rica and India offer students exceptional transnational learning opportunities and innovative programs. Together, we can make things right for our communities, our planet, and our future.

Media Contact:

Emina Gamulin, 91��ɫ Media Relations, 437-217-6362, egamulin@yorku.ca

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My love language is peer-reviewed research

egamulin — Thu, 01 Feb 2024 14:00:00 +0000

91��ɫ U professor Amy Muse debunks sex and relationship pop psychology, offers alternatives backed in science

Feb. 1, 2024, TORONTO – From the Five Love Languages to the concept of “Happy Wife, Happy Life,” popular culture is riddled with ideas of how sex and relationships are supposed to work, but does the science back these ideas up? According to Faculty of Health Assistant Professor and Research Chair in Relationships and Sexuality Amy Muise, the answer is frequently no.

Ahead of Valentine’s Day, Muise, also director of the Sexual Health and Relationship () Lab, can offer alternative theories that are supported by her research and other literature in the field.

Muise’s latest research debunks the Five Love Languages, offers ‘balanced diet’ metaphor as alternative

The Five Love Languages is the invention of Gary Chapman, a one-time Baptist minister who provided marital counselling to couples in his church and wrote a book based on his experiences. The theory goes that each of us has a primary love language – words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch – and problems arise in relationships when partners are speaking different languages.

Online dating sites encourage you to share your love language, 50 million people have taken the online test, and videos with the hashtag have half a billion views on TikTok – clearly, the concept has deeply ingrained itself in the popular imagination, but in collaboration with researchers from the University of Toronto, the theory doesn’t hold up.

“His work is based on a very religious traditional sample of monogamous, heterosexual cisgendered couples and it is all anecdotal. We were pretty skeptical of the claims made so we decided to review the existing evidence, and his idea that we all have one primary love language really isn't supported,” says Muise. “His measure pits the love languages against each other, but in research studies when they've asked people to rate each of these expressions of love independently, people tend to rate them all highly.”

Still, Muise sees why the concept has taken off. “It's something people can really grab onto in straightforward way and communicate something about themselves to their partner. But we would suggest that love is not a language that you need to learn how to speak but it's more akin to a nutritionally balanced diet, where partners need multiple expressions of love simultaneously, and that these needs can change over time as life and relationships evolve.”

Other research Muise has done similarly questions pop psychology concepts, exposing flaws along the way:

Happy Wife, Happy Life?

Muise and a group of international collaborators , carrying more weight than men’s. In two studies looking at mixed gender couples, one examining daily diaries and the other looking at annual reports over five years, they found instead that both partners conceptions of the relationship were equally important.

“Based on our findings, we think it’s less ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life,’ and more ‘Happy Spouse, Happy House.”

Is unplanned sex hotter?

Not necessarily, says Muise. In research done last year with a 91��ɫ graduate student, Muise found that while many people endorsed the ideal of spontaneous sex, the researchers did not find evidence that people’s actual experience of sex was more enjoyable when not planned. If you are planning on sex this Valentine’s Day, Muise advises it might work out better to plan to have it before a big meal.

Is too much closeness bad for sexual relationships?

“, we find couples who grow closer have more desire for each other, but we argue that what’s also needed for desire is otherness or distinctiveness,” she says.

“It’s important to bring new things into the relationship, find ways to see a partner in a new light. Novel experiences have been shown to increase desire in long-term relationships, so when making plans for Valentine’s day, doing something together that’s broadening or expanding can increase desire.”

About 91��ɫ

Media Contacts: Emina Gamulin, 91��ɫ Media Relations and External Communications, 437-217-6362, egamulin@yorku.ca

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Is spontaneous sex better? New research casts doubt on commonly held belief

egamulin — Mon, 13 Feb 2023 14:57:29 +0000

TORONTO, Feb. 13, 2023 – The idea that spur-of-the-moment sex is the most passionate and satisfying is a deeply ingrained one in popular Western imagination, but calls this into question. In their latest study, psychology researchers from the Faculty of Health found that planning ahead can be just as sexy as sex that ‘just happens.’

91��ɫ PhD student and registered psychotherapist Katarina Kovacevic

“There can be a lot of resistance to asking clients to talk about and plan sex more, to work as a sexual team. I think it's because of what we see in the media, but the funny thing about that is there's so much planning that goes into those scenes — a whole production team is there, actors memorize their lines,” says Katarina Kovacevic, a registered psychotherapist specializing in romantic relationships and sexual issues, and PhD student at .

“What our new study found was that while many people do endorse the ideal of spontaneous sex, there was no difference in their reported satisfaction of their last actual sexual encounter – whether it was planned or unplanned.”

For this research, published today in the Journal of Sex Research, two studies were conducted by Kovacevic, her supervisor, 91��ɫ Psychology Professor Amy Muise, and their collaborators. The first looked at more than 300 individuals in romantic relationships and asked them questions via an online survey. The second, had more than a hundred couples respond to daily surveys about their romantic and sex lives for three weeks. In both cases, they wanted to look at people’s beliefs about planned versus spontaneous sex, but also if these beliefs would translate into satisfaction with actual sexual encounters.

In the first part of the study, they did find that endorsing the idea of spontaneous sex being better, did correlate with reported satisfaction. While in the second study, when looking at participants’ last sexual encounter, they found there was no difference in how satisfying a sexual encounter was reported to be — based on whether it was planned or happened spontaneously – regardless of people’s beliefs.

“Generally, we did find that people endorsed the spontaneous sex ideal,” says Muise. “But, despite these beliefs, across our two studies we did not find strong support that people actually experience spontaneous sex as more satisfying than planned sex.”

Kovacevic says when therapists like herself talk about planned sex, they don’t necessarily mean scheduling it, and while planning sex may seem like a chore to some, anticipation can also sometimes lead to desire.

Psychology Professor Amy Muise

“When we suggest that couples or other romantic configurations carve out that time, we're not necessarily saying you put it into a calendar — like 7 p.m. on a Tuesday, after putting dinner in the oven and before folding the socks,” she says. “But the intentionality behind it can be transformative in the sense that we don't wait around for the right moment, because sometimes the mood just never strikes, really, for some people, and that might deter them.”

Additionally, Muise and Kovacevic remind us of how much planning goes into the important and enjoyable aspects of our lives, like going on vacation or pursuing a rewarding career, and that there is no reason sex cannot be the same. Since sex is important to many people, and has many health and relationship benefits, it makes sense to prioritize and approach sex in the same way.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, some folks might want to plan for sex ahead of time, but the key is “intention, versus expectation.” Kovacevic says expectations for sex during holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays can lead to folks feeling pressure. Instead, she recommends that romantic partners plan to regularly spend quality time together, without distractions, to keep the spark alive. If you are planning to have sex this Valentine’s Day, Muise says to “try to have it before the big meal and glasses of wine.”

Watch of video of Kovacevic .

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Media Contact:

Emina Gamulin, 91��ɫ Media Relations, 437-217-6362, egamulin@yorku.ca

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Intercultural romantic relationships aid personal growth, 91��ɫ U researcher says

suhasini — Thu, 06 Oct 2022 14:05:44 +0000

Research by Social Psychologist Amy Muise and her team offers first look at how cultural differences can facilitate personal growth and relationship success

91��ɫ U Social Psychologist

TORONTO, Oct. 6, 2022 – Couples in intercultural romantic relationships benefit from each other’s cultural differences, as they are exposed to new perspectives, knowledge and identities, three recent studies conducted by 91��ɫ researchers indicate.

“Intercultural romantic relationships are increasingly common and although the obstacles such couples face are well-documented, the factors that facilitate their success are less studied,” says Social Psychologist, in the Faculty of Health at 91��ɫ, who is the senior author of a new paper. “Our current study results show that personal growth was associated with relationship quality and identity outcomes.”

” published today in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, is a research paper based on studies using cross-sectional, dyadic, over time, and experimental methods to understand the opportunities for growth through cultural sharing in a relationship.

The studies indicate that personal growth through a partner’s culture was uniquely related to identity outcomes, such as a greater cultural awareness, beyond general growth through the relationship. “Also, actively sharing cultures and discussing their differences was linked to more cultural and relational self-expansion, which in turn, differentially predicted partners’ relationship quality and cultural identities,” points out Muise, who is also the 91��ɫ Research Chair in Relationships and Sexuality.

These studies provide a first look at the role of self-expansion in intercultural relationships – demonstrating that the way couples negotiate their cultures is linked to both relational and personal outcomes.

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91��ɫ is a modern, multi-campus, urban university located in Toronto, Ontario. Backed by a diverse group of students, faculty, staff, alumni and partners, we bring a uniquely global perspective to help solve societal challenges, drive positive change and prepare our students for success. 91��ɫ's fully bilingual Glendon Campus is home to Southern Ontario's Centre of Excellence for French Language and Bilingual Postsecondary Education. 91��ɫ’s campuses in Costa Rica and India offer students exceptional transnational learning opportunities and innovative programs. Together, we can make things right for our communities, our planet, and our future.

Media Contact:

Gloria Suhasini, 91��ɫ Media Relations, 647.463.4354, suhasini@yorku.ca

The post Intercultural romantic relationships aid personal growth, 91��ɫ U researcher says appeared first on News@91��ɫ.